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Published on 6/18/2009

By Robbin Bruce

Tuesday afternoon, like most afternoons, after I caught my chores up, I figured I'd just sit down a minute to see what was on TV.

It looked like a cloud was blowing up, so I knew there wasn't any hurry to go outside or anything.

Well, just as I sat down, guess what, "Day's of Thunder" is coming on, so I just settled in to watch me a good ole stock car race.

Little did I know, if I had known what I was going to be doing the next hour or so, I believe I would have kept on flipping till I found "Lonesome Dove," at least it would have put me into the right frame of mind, or have given me a few pointer's, because before the afternoon was over, I sure was gonna need them!

About the time Robert Duvall was chewing out Tom Cruise, there was a flash of lighting, AND THE LIGHT'S WENT OUT!

Well, I was all right, a little disappointed, but Doc was freaked. So I got up to see if it had hit anything in the yard.

Maybe I should have stayed in the chair? About that time as I looked toward the curve in the road, I saw something. That looks to big to be a young'in, wait a minute there two, no, three of them.

And one of them is huge, I mean huge. Wait a minute those ain't kids, but I couldn't figure out what they were.

I walked to the bedroom. We were having a frog-strangling of a downpour outside, I didn't want to get wet, so I grabbed my binoculars, and folks what I next saw, kinda made me just stand there a minute.

It was three cows, just mosy-ing along. Then about that time they started crossing the road, and then here came the cars, luckily they were going slow enough not to hit them. Finally, they just eased over to my neighbors yard.

I grabbed the phone and tried calling a few people, nobody was home, and I didn't have a clue whose they were. Finally, I reached my brother in law, and he gave me a name. But you know how it is, you can't find it in the phone book. And by that time, they had eased over to my back yard.

That's when it got real exciting around my house.

Doc saw them, they saw Doc, and let's just say if I hadn't had a hold on him it could have gotten real ugly.

What did he think he was gonna do, but then again he probably thought they were the biggest dogs he'd ever seen.

He went one way and they went another, and about this time I figured I'd better do something.

So I took off down the road to that fella's house. Nope, they weren't his. Well, I just can't leave them alone, if they ran out in the middle of 521, something bad was gonna happen.

Well, just as I got back from down the road, they decide they would mosey back out onto Kent Road.

So I eased the truck in front of them, so they kinda figured Jim's grass was all right for now. And the whole time I was sitting there in the truck, I'm thinking, Robbin, you ain't no cowboy, and besides, how are you gonna run them back out of the road, you don't run.

Then they decide there tired of Jim's grass, they want to check out some new pasture, so there I am like an idiot, blowing the horn, and yelling at them, till I get them in Rodney's yard.

Well, that seemed to satisfy them for a while. So I eased in the yard, and just sat there and watched them.

There's a big ditch between them and the highway, so I just kinda blocked off the drive, 'Where is the guy that owns these cows?"

Folks, I've chased cows in my younger days, and the one thing that I remember is once they get rolling, there ain't much stopping them, and I ain't about to step out in front of one at a full gallop.

And did I mention one of them was a bull. I can see me stepping out in front of him, me a guy who walks with a cane, all he's gonna say is "LUNCH."

Well, about that time an eighteen wheeler goes by. Well, there's the ball game. Do three cows make a stampede?

When your by yourself it might as well be. And here they go toward the highway, 521 at that. So out in the road I go, with visions of a VW Bug with a kid in the front seat, catching that bull sideways.

So I cut them off at the pass, sounds kinda cowboy don't it, and kept them on the side of the road, the whole time I got the emergency flashers on, and waving at the cars like a maniac.

Just as I got them doggies almost back off the road, and the traffic slowed down, one of them decides he ain't gonna slow down, just as one of those doggies decides he's gonna cross over to greener pastures.

I closed my eyes, but thank the Lord for good brakes.

And just about that time help arrived. It was the cows owner, and with the traffic stopped we eased them back to the corral.

And just like John Wayne, I rode off into the sunset.