Robbin Bruce: You better believe it, I'm turning over a new leaf
Last Updated on 12/1/2008
Published on 9/4/2008
By Robbin Bruce
Something's been bothering me lately, and I feel like I need to get it off my chest. I've been doing it for years, and you know how it is -- once you get in a habit, well, it's kinda hard to break it.
I catch myself -- it seems like everywhere I go -- doing it and I can't seem to stop. I don't mean to do it, but I can't help myself. I see it, and I've got to say something ... even to strangers. They ask me about it, and before I know it, out it comes. Mel and the girls get on me about it. (You know, they say things like "You shouldn't say things like that; people wil think you're crazy.")
But after 50 years, I think it's time to turn over a new leaf. From now on, I'm gonna be a new man. If I can't say something good about it, I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. That's right, from now on I LOVE OKRA.
That's right; I said okra. You heard me. All those years of every chance possible of putting it down have finaly come to an end. Every time I get a chance, I'm gonna build up that idea that okra is good for you. No more are you gonna hear me say how slimy, itchy and gross it looks. Nope, from now on it's gonna remind me of manna from heaven.
You're hearing it straight from the man, Ol' Rube himself, that okra is good for you. Let's list the things that okra does for you. To start with, it's green, and everybody knows anything green is good for you. It's full of fiber, and we all know what fiber is good for. (That's enough on that subject.) And doesn't green stuff have all them vitamins and antioxidants and stuff that's supposed to be good for you? That means it's healthy or something. It's something about building strong bones and teeth ... or is that carrots, another vegetable I have maligned all these years?
Then there's the exercise vaue. Have you ever cut okra? You've got to bend over, grab three or four of them delicious presents from heaven, cut them with a knife, then straighten up and throw them in the bucket. You work your stomach muscles, your shoulder muscles and your gluteus maximus. You've got to pay big money at a gym for all this exercise. And basically it's FREE, except for the seeds and stuff. Then you get to go home and enjoy this wonderful bounty because it's fat-free.
And you know you just enjoy okra with just about everything. A big ol' pot of butter beans just doesn't taste the same without three or four, maybe more, pods of this delicacy floating around in the pot. Load up your plate with some rice, corn, macaroni and cheese, a couple of pieces of fried chicken and just pour it all over. Then, with what you've got left, just sop it up with a biscuit. You'll think you've died and gone straight through those pearly gates.
That's right, folks. I've turned over a new leaf. I'm gonna get a T-shirt with "I love okra" on the front. Through the years I've said so many bad things about okra that I might have caused some of you not to try it. And for that I am sorry. But you see, sometimes when we don't try it, when we just go by the looks of things, we deprive ourselves of things that we would truly enjoy if we would only give it a chance. That's what I have been doing for years. And the worst thing about it is I've probably said things that would make you not try it, either, thereby causing you to miss out on one of the chief joys of life. We all know in this day and time that "joys of life" are getting fewer and farther between.
But from this day forward you are looking at a new man. I plan on eating okra three times a day -- on eggs, my bologna sandwhich at lunch, and Mel better not tell me supper's ready till she's got a steaming potful sitting on the stove. From now on, if someone comes over, we'll have okra on a Ritz instead of cheese, or a big bowl of okra dip for those Frito scoops, or Doritos, if you prefer.
Man, I feel better. I finally got that big weight off my chest. I feel like a new man. But there is one little thing I need to tell you, though, and after reading this you might find it hard to believe. If you don't believe it, stop by the house and I'll show you where that UFO landed in my backyard and that little green guy told me where the gold mine was at, and we'll work out a deal for half.
'Cause, folks, I still HATE OKRA.
Mr. Bruce is an Andrews resident. His e-mail address is robbinbruce@yahoo.com, or he can be reached in care of this newspaper at P.O. Box 2778, Georgetown, SC 29442.
