Last Updated on 5/24/2013

Published on 5/24/2012

For the last couple months or so, there has been a serious conversation taking place around the households of America. There have been cries of joy, weeping of hearts, and like the Bible says, “Gnashing of teeth”. We live in a society of one person one vote, and while it seems like a great concept, some times it does cause dissension. Even to the point of one side saying bluntly, “I don’t want to,” to be answered by, “Maybe so, but you’re still going!” What could it be that brings so many disharmonies to the houses of the Lowcountry, much less this great nation? What could make so many loving families seem to lose the glue that holds them together? It’s simple really, just two words, two words that bring joy to their hearts, then for some unknown reason, like lightning across the sky, the world cracks along its axis. It’s simple really, two words, two itty bitty words.

VACATION TIME

That’s right folks, vacation time is here again, and let the games begin! And if you say it real fast a couple times you’ll almost get that head rush you do as you’re locking the door to head out to your own little heaven. But hold up there partner you forgot something. Where are you going? What are you going to do when you get there? What are you going to take, are you going to eat out, or eat in, or to make it real complicated, are you going to order out, and then eat it back at whereever you are going to be staying? These may sound like silly questions, but to whoever holds the checkbook, well let’s just say, unless Momma’s got her plan, nobody’s going anywhere!

But let’s back up to the beginning, first things first, we got to have us a family meeting. Now you might think this will be the only one you’ll need, but you know deep down, you know that’s not happening. When the gavel falls, and the agenda is brought forth, well let’s just say, there will be plenty of discussion. First there will be five different destinations from five different people, and no two will be the same. Then you will have to start weighing the “can we’s” against the “we can’t afford to do that’s”. And then comes the, “we did that last year,” finally we get to the ‘I don’t want to got there.” And after much discussion, some bribing, and the almost near fatal, “Alright we just won’t go anywhere this year,” we have a consensus.

Meeting # 2: What are we going to take? Well, we will all just pack our own clothes, that way every body will be happy, yeah right. Oh you will pack them your self all right, right there on the bed, so Momma can make sure you have what you need, not just want you want. Little Johnny, one pair of underwear will not last you a whole week. Yes little Jennie, you can take that new bikini you have hid in the bottom of your dresser, as long as you plan on wearing jeans and a t-shirt over it while you walk on the beach. And no little Joey you can’t take your Duck boots, there isn’t going to be any snow, and no you won’t need them just in case you see a gator, I don’t care if Troy on “Swamp People” wears his all the time.

Meeting #3: All the other stuff you have to take. Yes you have to take a toothbrush, just because we are on vacation, you still have to brush your teeth. There are two females going, that means we have to take, two hair dryers, two flat irons, two curling irons, and two different kinds of hair brushes per person. Dad, no you can’t take that t-shirt, because it has a hole in it at your belly button, and that’s just gross! I’ve told you already, YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH!

Finally, and I mean finally the day has arrived, we are on our way! But this is the tricky part, where are you going, and how long will it take you to get there? If you’re going to the beach, a couple hours, you can take it. But the mountains or Disneyworld, you won’t make it. Because time you crank that car, “Daddy, how long before we get there?”, and you haven’t even left the drive. Then ten minutes later, “How much further?” or the family favorite, “We there yet?” Me, I took the kids to Disneyworld, strapped them in the car around three that morning, popped in my Ipod with the headphones, and we were in Savannah before I heard the first, “Are we there yet?”.

But as soon as you arrive at the destination of your dreams for the last two months, before you feel the lapping of the waves or the cool waters of that mountain stream on your toes, there’s just one more thing. Now you have to unload your car, decide who gets what bed, and put up all those groceries, plus the clothes. Then just as Momma and Daddy lay back in their lounge chairs and the warm sun starts caressing their skin, their bliss is broken is broken by the sounds of … ”Momma,

“We’re hungry … and we got to go to Wal-Mart, Johnny forgot his toothbrush.”

You can reach Robbin Bruce by e-mail at robbinbruce@yahoo.com.