Eating, er, strange food
Last Updated on 3/19/2010
Published on 3/26/2009
By Robbin Bruce
The other evening, I went out for supper, and just as I took that first bite, well, to be honest, I had to stop a minute and figure out what it was I was eating.
I mean, I know what I thought it was, but it had a side taste, that to be honest I wasn't sure if I had broke a tooth, or a toe nail.
You know that feeling. You bite into something, kinda smiling to yourself, then "uh, oh" what is that in my sandwich -- turned out it was bacon, but I had never eaten an egg-salad sandwich with it in it before. And to be honest, it was pretty doggone good, but it was just the way it snuck up on me is all.
But it was that surprise that got me. We've all had them, and while most of the time it's a pleasant surprise, those few times it's not, well, those are the ones that make us so gun shy.
That's like the time I figured I'd sneak me a swallow out the milk jug. Nobody was home but me. Who's gonna know?
The second it hit my lips, that broke me right then and there of sneaking a drink out of the jug.
Did you know your throat has a gag function that won't let you swallow sour milk! And no matter how hard you try to open your mouth to get rid of it, for some reason you can't un-clinch your teeth to do just that.
And with all the bells and whistles going off in your head, something's got to give, so you might as well go ahead and get the paper towels.
A friend of mine told me one time he LIKED clabber on a hot biscuit.
All I knew is for a minute there I thought I was gonna be in the sequel to the movie, "Robbin get's caught drinking from the jug."
Have you ever been to a party, and there is a big ole table full of something Joel calls "horse's ovaries." There's a fancy word for it, but I can't even spell it, much less say it. Let's just call it finger food.
You know with all those chips and dip, and them little sandwiches, you know it's so hard to choose from, so you just get a little of this and a little of that.
Well, just as I had taken a scoop with my Frito, into something I thought was onion dip ( I love onion dip) turns out it was BLUE CHEESE.
Now, folks, I rank blue cheese right up there with that Southern favorite Okra. And ya'll know how much I love Okra.
And it's a good thing Mel was standing there, cause I wanted to take that napkin I had and scrub the taste right out of my mouth.
Or either I would have stuck my finger clear to my elbow down my throat. That might be why she doesn't take me to many parties.
And if she's scared, the kid's are petrified!
Jessie's down in Charleston, and the other night, her and some friends went out to a sushi bar. She must have had a good time, because before she realized just who she was talking too, she said, "Daddy you ought to take Mom, you'd like it!"
Then after she thought about it a minute, trying to be nice, she eased off a bit, "Err, maybe not."
See, I'm a Southern man, I like fish, the only thing is, I like mine dumped in corn meal, then pan fried to a golden brown
Seaweed on the side, I don't think so. Maybe a basket of hush puppies, and some fries. The only thing close to grass would be a scoop of cold slaw.
Isn't seaweed that stuff that get's between your toes at the beach, when your walking in the water.
Yeah, I can see them putting a big ole steaming pile of seaweed on the table.
"What's the matter, ya'll run out of butter beans?"
*
This weekend I lost a good friend of mine, Mrs. Carol Hernandez passed away. For many years she wrote a column for the Times, and in it we were able to keep up with goings on in our small town.
And for as many years as I can remember she played both the organ and piano in our church, with the grace and passion that a lot of the younger generation can only dream of.
She was also special to me because of a favor she extended to me about eight years ago.
She's the one who first looked at my scribblings and took them to the Times, and helped me start on a path that for years I had dreamed of, but never had taken the chance.
Thank you, Ms. Carol.
Heaven's band just got them another good piano player.
