After a couple of weeks of weightier subjects, I am taking a turn today toward the more gentle side of youthful reasoning. A few readers thought I was a little too hard on the youngsters last week when I opined that all newborns come into the world with the heavy baggage of inborn instincts - some of them not conducive to a civilized society. I noted that we spend a lifetime trying to overcome inbred propensities toward such attributes as greed, selfishness, violence, etc.
So for a change of direction I offer, today, perfect illustrations of how little minds process the world in a more positive manner. I have no idea where these gems from the Internet originated but I thought them too precious not to pass on.
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A grandmother was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
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A young grandson called the other day to wish his grandfather a Happy Birthday. He asked how old his grandpa was, and was told "62." The little tyke was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at one?"
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After putting her visiting grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with a stern warning. As she left the room, she heard the 3-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild berries in the woods and swam in the creek." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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A grandson was visiting when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" The pleased grandmother mentally polished her halo as she asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied."
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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's computer keyboard. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?"' he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
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A grandmother didn't know if her granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so she decided to test her. The grandma would point out something and ask what color it was. The little girl was always correct. It was fun, so she continued. At last, the little child headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
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When a grandson entered a vacation cabin with his grandfather they kept the lights off until inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. But a few fireflies followed. Noticing them, the little lad whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
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When a grandson asked his granddaddy how old the old man was, he teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."
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A second-grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change Y to I and add ES."
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Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently "It means carrying a child."
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And finally my favorite:
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said authoritatively, "to find the fire hydrants!"
Aaaaahhh. From the mouths of babes....
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John Brock is a retired college professor, newspaper publisher and motion picture producer who lives in Georgetown County. He can be reached by mail at this newspaper, or by e-mail at: brock@johnbrock.com