I love days when I am feeling so productive.
Laundry's done, dishes are washed, all the beds are made. I just feel like I am an army of one. Zipping right along. Dinner on the table. Kids in the tub.
You all know what kind of day I am talking about. The kind where when you go to bed that night you're not thinking of all the things you need to do in the morning
I have done my job and done it well.
Well, it has never occurred to me that perhaps a 3- year-old may want to feel this way too. But I am almost certain that Denver felt that way yesterday.
I know when he climbed into bed last night he breathed a sigh of satisfaction on a job well done.
Here is how his day went.
Wrong shoes
First, he insisted on wearing his shoes on the wrong feet with duct tape on them. And yes, I let him leave the house that way.
I just figured his wonderful teachers would fix them for him with no complaint from him.
Before leaving the house he colored on the table and wall with red marker.
Once arriving home from school he poured out a whole bottle of Windex which I had just purchased all over the rug.
Then after lunch he diapers himself and tells me he is no longer a "big man" but a baby. I quickly remove the diaper and remind him that school is only for "big men."
Lord knows I do not need him to regress in the potty training department.
Unfolds all laundry
He unfolds all the laundry I have just folded. It was 5 loads.
While I was waiting for load number 6 to dry I decided to groom the dog.
Outside we head to start clipping Vinnie. Denver is in his underwear — I'm not even sure where his clothes were at this point.
I have never groomed the dog before, so I am winging it, and Denver is putzing around the front yard. I finally get finished just as the dryer beeps.
I clean up the front porch, brush down the dog and head inside.
I go into my room to change my clothes and start folding the laundry.
Denver walks in and says "I be cute, Mommy." That's when I turned around and — gasped is an understatement.
Playing barber
He has cut a landing strip down the center of his head.
At some point during the clean up of the dog he took the clippers, and headed up stairs to his closet to give himself a hair cut.
He used bare clippers and cut away ... He looked in the mirror and didn't like it at all.
I left it that way for a while because I didn't have time to "fix" it.
After dinner we were having dessert, pudding with whip cream, and he thought it would be a good idea to eat this with his hands and rub it on his belly.
I clearly was reaching my limit. I took him outside and buzzed the rest of his hair.
He is now bald as a cue ball.
I then sent him off with Eric to get a bath since he was now covered in pudding and hair.
He took one look at himself in the mirror and started to cry.
"I don't yike me with no hair!"
And that's why 3 -year- olds shouldn't cut hair.
See, I know for sure Denver went to bed last night with a sigh of satisfaction on a day well done.
He accomplished all he set out to do and more.
He also completed part three of his plan to force me into the loony bin.
: 10/28/2009
I truely enjoy reading the two colums you've put out so far. I hope to continue seeing them.
: 10/26/2009
I promise I am laughing with you and not at you Erin! I really think all moms deserve a medal of honor for surviving motherhood, and this day with Denver just proves why!
: 10/26/2009
I have four kids too, and I am pretty sure they all cut their hair. Just a little here or there. Never quite the job that Denver did. This was hysterical.
Too Funny! : 10/26/2009
Erin Spatz is too funny. Thanks for adding her to the paper.
: 10/26/2009
I've always heard the 3rd child is usually the most work AND also the most creative; so watch for an emerging talent in the coming years. Hang on, it only gets better
Thank you Georgetown Times : 10/26/2009
Hilarious! Thank you Georgetown Times for adding Mrs. Spatz's column to your newspaper. It is SO refreshingly funny and makes you anticipate the next story in her daily life with 4 active kids!
: 10/26/2009
Very funny! My sister did somehting very similar to that years ago... the Saturday before Easter Sunday!
job well done.... : 10/26/2009
So funny! At least it will grow back and maybe he will think twice about playing "barber"....just keep him away from the other kids until you are sure!
Hide the clippers!! : 10/26/2009
So funny!!! At least it will grow back... but hopefully it will not happen again!!! I would definitely hide the clippers... and pray he doesn't talk a sibling into letting him cut their hair too!!!!! Maybe it's a look into his future profession :) (Although I don't think I will go to him for his "signature" reverse mohawk.)