When I became pregnant with our first son, I did a lot of daydreaming about what he would look like and what kind of personality he would have.
Would he be more like Eric or more like me? It was fun to imagine all the possibilities.
Well, if you have ever seen or met our children, the answer to who they look like is answered quickly. They look like me. Well, mostly me.
They all have blond hair, which I don't have now, but did have as a child. Each of them has different colored eyes. One has hazel, one has green, one has brown and one has "yet to be determined."
I feel bad for Eric sometimes because more often than not everyone says "your kids look just like Erin."
And I knew, of course, that since the kids have half my DNA and half Eric's that they would look like us to some degree.
But what I find to be the most interesting is the things they inherited that I didn't count on.
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For example, to say that Eric is terribly grossed out by blood, is a complete understatement. Surprisingly, Autumn is also afraid of blood.
In fact, I thought for sure she was going to faint one day when she was only 18 months old while I was having my blood drawn. She turned white as a ghost and then green and I thought "oh my goodness she is going to pass out!" I had to sing to distract her.
Who would have thought you could pass on that kind of phobia at 18 months?
What she gets from me is her ability to sob uncontrollably and still say something funny or laugh at the same time.
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Dylan and Eric have the same shower routine, which is beyond funny. They get in, turn their backs to the water, and then yawn this really loud yawn that can be heard in a completely different part of the house.
Dylan wants to make sure he has the last word in any argument — which he gets from me, I guess.
Denver loves to try new foods and is always ready for a snack. He gets that from me. Eric, on the other hand, does not branch out from the food he eats now and is never going to change.
He did, however, give Denver his consistent nature. If he did it once, he'll do it again.
Chandler is just plain sweet. (Which she gets from me, of course.)
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Since I didn't count on the kids getting those things from us I have begun to worry about the things that I don't want to pass onto them.
I never want them to suffer from a single panic attack EVER.
I would feel terrible if my girls were insecure about how beautiful they are, the way I was and still sometimes am.
I would be heartbroken if my boys never felt complete and content with who they are.
I know a lot has to do with how Eric and I parent, but since I never thought that Dylan, Denver and Eric would have the same laugh, how was I to know that I should be worried about other inherited traits?
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I want them to only get the "good stuff" from us. Like Eric's willingness to try new adventures (except for food, as previously mentioned) and how if anyone asks him for help he will move heaven and earth to do it.
I want the kids to get my sense of silly fun and to learn that being able to laugh at yourself is the best medicine.
But what I hope I pass on to my children most is not something you can find in my DNA or Eric's — although some people who shall remain nameless think he is a saint.
I want them to know and love Jesus. To serve God and others before themselves.
And maybe that gene doesn't flow in my blood, but it flows from my heart and prayerfully it will flow to theirs.
Erin Spatz : 2/1/2010
This is one of your best columns yet. I also prayed that I would pass on only the best to my kids. Some of that is true, they did get the best and unfortunately the worst. You are successful as a parent if you have passed on your heart to them.
: 2/1/2010
I think it's amazing how God created my children to be the combination of both my husband and I (although if you look at them, you might question whether or not I really carried them in my stomach because they both look like their daddy!).