Local tourist gurus continue to wrestle with finding a suitable brand name for Georgetown County tourism efforts.  Tens of thousands of dollars (or more) and months (even years) have been devoted to the effort since the former marketing group was dismantled a couple of years ago.  I never did understand why the functioning group was fired and new efforts started — and I might add “S-L-O-W-L-Y” started.

The latest trial balloon suggests branding our area as the “Hammock Coast.”  I'm no tourist expert but it seems to me that the mental picture of hanging between two trees is far from the most desirable image we might want to project for our area. It might even have racial undertones. I can just see the ad copy: “Come hang with us this summer.”

But then, again, this might morph into “Hangover Coast.”

 Judging by the Monday morning police blotter, this moniker might be closer to the truth than we want to admit.

Why don't these folks quit spending a lot of time and money trying to “brand” our area?  Just call it something simple like “Lowcountry” or “Heavenly Coast” and get marketing efforts underway before another season passes us by.

Come to think of it, “Heavenly Coast” might not be a bad idea.  Lafayette, when he landed in Georgetown County on his way to join George Washington in the colonies' fight for independence, labeled our area, “DeBordieu” which I understand is French for “Near to God” or “Next to Heaven.”  Of course nobody can pronounce DeBordieu and it will immediately become “Debbie-do.”

Hey!  I have another idea or two.  How about “Coast with the Most” —surf, golf, nature and history rolled into an adventure you will never forget!  Nah! Too long.  Perhaps it could be shortened to “Most Coast.”  Or, even “More Shore.”  How about, “Super!, Natural —Georgetown Coast!

Not too good, huh?  I'll leave it to the “experts” but with the hope that they will lock into  something — and fast.

LOCKED UP

Speaking of locked in, did you read about the lady up the road who got locked in a Food Lion store recently? Seems she was still shopping when the manager closed up for the night.

Well, I can tell a similar tale about my wife.  Barbara and I were at a Jaycee meeting in Asheville, N.C., years ago.  Part of the festivities included a number of events for the ladies including a tour of nearby Biltmore House.

Yep.  You guessed it; she got locked inside the gazillion-room mansion when it closed.

My wife is an artist and as such she is very observant and can find real beauty in even the tiniest details of her surroundings.  As a result, she has a tendency to get lost in the moment which sometimes leads to just plain “getting lost.”

Anyway, she was making her way through the gorgeous mansion and grounds when quitting time came and guards, anxious to get home to their families or other activities, locked the doors with my poor wife inside.

When she realized that she was alone inside the monstrous house, she didn't panic.  She looked for a telephone but telephones are not part of the medieval décor of Biltmore House.  She finally found one at a guard's desk.  It was pre-911 days so she did what any sensible person would do, she dialed “0” and got the operator at the telephone company's main office in downtown Asheville.

We were very dependent upon telephone operators back when they actually were human beings and not recorded voices.  True to form, the operator summoned rescuers to the scene and they let my poor trapped bride out of the Biltmore House. I think there were a few under-the-breath choice words from the guards who had been called away from their supper tables.

Meanwhile, I was back at the hotel wondering what had happened to my tardy wife — not knowing that she was locked in the stupendous glory of the world's most famous abode.

But all's well that ends well and both she and I have relished learning to live a life conscious of the beauty and joy around us — but with a close eye on closing times.

NEW DOG REPORT

Many of you have inquired about our new dog, Misha, the Yorkshire Terrier we acquired a couple of months ago.

I can happily report that she is thriving and is perhaps the smartest dog we have ever had.

At only four months, she has completely mastered the art of missing the newspaper spread for her use — each and every time. She is also equally adept at hiding her natural deposits from us but always in the path I take walking barefooted through the house.

She knows quite well to only chew on expensive shoes and furniture while leaving the scores of stuffed toys we have provided completely alone.

We are managing quite well.  Whenever the trying times come (and they come frequently) we just look into her adorable face and smile.

God loves little creatures of the world — why shouldn't we?

John Brock is a retired college professor and, newspaper editor/publisher, who lives in Georgetown County.  His Web site is www.SouthernObserver.com He can be reached by mail at this newspaper, or by e-mail at brock@johnbrock.com