Q. Dear Sallie,

 Please comment on whether diners should "help the servers out" by stacking plates to be cleared - their own plates - and even requesting others at the table to pass theirs to add to the stack.  I'm embarrassed to participate in this table clearing but feel it inappropriate to correct a co-worker who makes the request.

Gentle Diner

Asheville, NC

A. Dear Gentle,

The late Mrs. Etiquette would chew gum with her mouth open before she would stack her dishes in a restaurant, especially in a finer establishment. Diners are there to dine. Servers are there to serve. You are right to feel awkward about correcting a co-worker at the table on this matter, however. Consideration of others' feelings supersedes the rules of etiquette, always.

Sincerely,

Sallie

Q. Dear Sallie,

When taking Communion in church, is it OK to chew the host?

Mark, Florida

A. Dear Mark,

No. The host (a thin, flat wafer of bread) is designed to dissolve in the mouth. According to my Southern grandmother, it was created to keep people at the altar from looking like cows chewing their cud.

Sincerely,

Sallie

Q. Dear Sallie,

I went to the movies with a very good male friend with my husband's blessing. The two couples have been great friends, and nothing more for years. We laughed a lot and enjoyed the movie. When it was over we saw my neighbor sitting across from us looking embarrassed. She hasn't talked to me since. What should I do?

B. L.., Asheville, NC

Dear B.L.,

Act toward your neighbor as you always have (kindly, I am sure). You and your husband know who you are. That is what counts.

Sincerely,

Sallie

To send a question to Sallie, please e-mail her at Salliemid@aol.com. Most will be answered personally. Those that are published may be edited. Include your city and state. Copyright © 2010 Sallie Middleton Parker.  All rights reserved.