Q. Dear Sallie,

All this discussion on when to clear the plates after dinner bothers me. I am not a youngster at 59, but how about those of us who prefer to not have a pile of dirty, used plates and bowls in front of us while the slow eater nibbles and chats for an hour or more? Is it wrong to ask for mine to be cleared? The basis of manners is common sense and I don't like dirty dishes in front of me.

Dr. Bill N., Etowah, NC

A. Dear Dr. Bill,

Actually, the basis of good manners is consideration of others; therefore, the answer to your question is yes. If you asked the server to clear your place before your neighbor had finished, you might as well tell your neighbor you are tired of his conversation, ready to go home, and for heaven's sake to hurry up!

Sincerely,

Sallie

Q. Dear Sallie,

Another thing the lady from the White House taught us: when employers interview people for jobs, they watch to see if you salt your food before you taste it. Also, you are supposed to shake salt into your hand first before sprinkling it onto your food. If you do that, they'll hire you for sure because they can see you are concerned about waste and pay attention to details.

Craig, Asheville, NC

A. Dear Craig,

Something my Southern grandmother taught me: if you pour more salt into your hand than you can use, throw it over your left shoulder and it will bring you good luck. If you don't, you'll bump into things and get holes in your socks.

Sincerely,

Sallie

Q. Dear Sallie,

I come from a modest background. Recently we were invited to dinner at the home of a bachelor who, I know, belongs to a very upscale country club. Although he is very rich, his house is tiny. I would have loved going to the club more than to his house. My husband says an invitation to a person's home is far more meaningful that one to their club. Is this true?

Claire, Raleigh, NC

A. Dear Claire,

Absolutely.

Sincerely,

Sallie

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