South Carolina seldom has to take a back seat to North Carolina in many areas of endeavor but they have us beat in one dubious category.  The Tarheel State not only supersedes the Palmetto State but leads the nation with the winning title of the state boasting the most Lying-in-middle-of-road deaths.

You heard me correctly.  More North Carolinians die from purposely lying along the white line of highways than in any other state in America.

I lived a great portion of my life in North Carolina and I always knew there were a bunch of crazy folks who reside there but never in this life would I have imagined that more people are killed because they decided to nap on the highway.  This has given a new dimension to the term “road kill.”

It's a phenomenon that no one seems to be able to explain.  Why would any sane (or sober) person lie down in the road?  Perhaps the operable words here are “sane” and/or “sober.”  Your guess is as good as mine. But hundreds of Americans die each year by intentionally placing themselves on highway pavement.  Perhaps, it's just another occasion of the famous Southern “Watch this!” syndrome or maybe it's just plain stupidity.  Whatever the reason, it is mind-boggling.

There has always been a tendency for North Carolinians to look down their noses at South Carolinians; and Virginians, in turn, take the same attitude toward Tarheels.  So on, up the eastern seaboard where ultimately the majority of folks from New Jersey seem to take a dim view of all Southerners if you pay any attention to visitors from there in the checkout lines and who speak too loudly in restaurants. But that's only those who have never lived here.

I suppose customs do differ from state to state but I'm proud that North Carolinians have won this particular contest — “Death from lying in the middle of the road champions!” Go figure!

BUT WE SPEAK ALIKE

One thing we do have in common with Tarheel citizens is our speech.  We may speak a tad differently from place to place, but generally, it doesn't usually take an interpreter to communicate among indigenous Carolinians. Although speech varies in many parts of the Southland, most all natives speak the same language.

From time to time I endeavor to bring newcomers up to date regarding precisely how we express ourselves below the Mason-Dixon Line.  If you have been among us for a year or more, you probably have already mastered “Ya'll,” “Drectly,” “Over yonder,” etc. But you may have missed other pronunciations. Here are a few tips if you sometimes have difficulty understanding us:

Ar - A possessive pronoun as in “That's ar house, not yours.” It can also refer to the stuff we breathe.

Ahce - Frozen water used to cool Ahce tea.

Clone - A sweet smelling liquid.  As in, “I shore do like that clone you got on.”

Daintz - When a couple moves in sync with the music across the daintz floor.

 Fline - What birds are doing as they sail through the air.

Jewant - As in “Do you want to go to the movies.”

Acit -  meaning “That's it” as used when one says, “Acit, as far as I'm gonna go.”

Kleck - What's done when a debt is overdue as in, “The bank is gonna kleck what's owed 'em.

Parts - Those swashbucklers who used to fly the Jolly Roger and rob other ships — usually with sword in hand.

Sebmiebm - A well-know convenience store chain that operates from seven o'clock in the morning to eleven at night.

Shar - As in, “I took a shar and shaved this morning.”

Zit - Pronounced “Is it” sometimes by outsiders, As in, “Zit time to go already?”

Our conversation might go something like this:

The bill klector came over to ar house the other day but I was in the bathroom putting on my clone right after I took a shar.  Mama had gone to the sebmiebm to pick up a bag of ahce, so I went to the door and asked, “What jewant?”  He dantzed around the question but finally said he wanted his money. Acit, he didn't say nuttin else. So I slammed the door cause them klectors ain't nothin but a bunch of parts anyway. He took off fline like a bird through the ar.

John Brock is a retired college professor and, newspaper editor/publisher, who lives in Georgetown County.  He can be reached by mail at this newspaper, or my e-mail at brock@johnbrock.com