As a mom, I realize that my "alone" time is limited.

I am mostly fine with that.

When I reach my limit and need some space, I will take a bath in the dark, or go out with friends.

The thing I never realized, was that being a mom means you never, ever get to go to the bathroom alone. EVER!

Now, I knew and understood the "phone phenomena" that says each time the phone rings your children will suddenly need your undivided attention for a crisis (which is not really a crisis).

I have perfected my "get away from me I'm on the phone" face.

But for some reason, the minute the kids and the dog hear the bathroom door close, is the exact moment the kids decide to bust open the door.

‘Just lock the door’

Oh, I know you're thinking 'just lock the door.’  

Well I do, and the kids (even the little one) have figured out how to pick the lock. Because clearly while I'm in the bathroom, it is the perfect time to ask me 100 questions!

Sometimes, (and this is really sad information) I'll put my foot against the door, so even if they pick the lock they cannot get in.  

But this only leads to chatting through the crack of the door, or tiny fingers under the door.

The dog has even has to get in on the action, so he pushes the door open or sits right outside the bathroom door, so that when I open the door I almost trip over him.

Even in the shower

Even when I'm in the shower, and can't do anything for anyone while I'm in there, everyone still feels the need to ask me for things.

I want to say "Umm, hello, I'm showering! I cannot make you waffles right now, Eric!"

The crazy part is, once I'm out of the bathroom and willing to give them my undivided attention, nobody needs me.

Or I come out and find a tornado of toys has hit the family room while I was in there, and I think "how long was I gone?"

I am not looking forward to the day the kids have all moved out (if I let them), but I will not miss the bathroom chats!