So ... it's a new year. Usually, I make resolutions with the rest of the world – to work out more, to be more organized, to save more.
But this year, I have decided to let go.
2012 was a wonderfully eventful year. All kinds of glorious things occurred! But for me, the over all lesson of 2012 was learning to let go. And in 2013, that's what I plan to do. Let go.
I will let go of time, because it's not in my control. I can do nothing to stop the fact that soon I will have a teenage son. And, that despite years (and I mean years) of being in other teenagers' lives, I am ill-prepared. Still, I will let that go and take it one step at a time.
I will let go of hurts that have been caused by others, and I will pray they will let go of the hurts that I have caused them. In 2013, I will be letting go of the fact that I cannot protect my children from every hurt that comes their way, but be satisfied that I can comfort them (and still secretly want to beat up the meanie.)
I will let go of the reality that I may never, in my lifetime get Denver to wear underwear, and be happy that it's one less thing I have to wash. And, I will be okay that there is a real chance that Chandler will have to take her driver's test in a car seat, as she may never break the 100 pound mark. And, I will let go and pray that Autumn, who is most like me, will benefit from having a mom who has already walked this road and can share the burden with her.
In 2013, I will be okay that commercials make me cry. And that while some people have their hearts in their chest, mine is on my sleeve, which causes it to be subject to all sorts of bruises and brokenness on a regular basis. And while I feel those things deeply, I will choose to let them go.
I will accept that some people come into our lives and stay, and others only pass by, but all are worth knowing no matter the cost.
I will let go and accept the truth that I am not perfect, and cannot get it all done. Nor can I make all people happy, even some of the time. I will always fail at something – always.
I will let go of the dream of having all the laundry done in the whole house all at the same time. I will let go of the curse of 12 loads a week and count it a blessing to have a happy, healthy family to keep clothed.
So, this year instead of adding to my list, I will let go. I will continue to look for things that need to go, not things to add. I will lighten my burden, and in letting go I will lighten my spirit.
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