Erin Spatz: Choices
As human beings we make choices all day, every day. Big choices and small choices.
We choose our words, our clothes, and even what to eat for lunch.
But, have we ever thought about the fact that love, is also a choice?
The choice to love our children is an easy one. There are moments when we may not like them very much, but we still choose to love them.
To continue to love your spouse is a daily choice, and some days that choice is easier than others.
I love Eric very much, but some days he is so pesty I can’t stand it. And other days, all he’d have to do is sneeze and I’d melt.
I am certain Eric loves me every day, despite my extra bossy days, but he makes that choice.
And sometimes we choose to love a not so obvious choice, which is what my parents did.
My mother got married when she was young and then had me.
She married a man who was not ready to be a grown-up, and after several years he chose to end the marriage. At the time he ended it, my mom was pregnant with my sister.
My mom, alone with a three-year-old and pregnant, turned to a friend.
This friend had what a sane person would call, a crazy idea.
Her nephew had just gone through a very rough divorce and had a five-year-old son. The friend suggested a blind date. Take a moment and let that sink in.
She was suggesting that my pregnant mother go on a blind date! Who does that? My mom, who took her time in making the decision, finally agreed to the date. And, while I cannot say with certainty that it was love at first sight, I do know that it was love, because once my sister was born they got married.
That friend became my Great Aunt, and that young son became my older (and super funny) brother.
And, the man crazy enough to date a pregnant woman with a bossy three-year-old became my dad.
He made a choice – he chose to love the not so obvious choice.
He loved us so seamlessly that we often forget to tell people that he’s not my “real” dad. In fact, I forgot to tell Eric until after we were engaged.
My mom made a choice as well, she chose to love his son as her own.
To invite him into her heart, to love him and fight for him.
My parents bravely went on to to have another son together, and we forgot to tell him as well.
But that’s a column for another day ...
I won’t pretend that it was always easy, but as with all choices you have to make them daily.
My family bravely (or crazily) made the choice each day that we would be a family that loved one another.
Those difficult choices, to love the unlovely, the unlovable, and the not so obvious choice will never be easy but will always be worth it.
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